Why I Love God so Much

img_0415I love the Lord Jesus Christ because He first loved me and He has delivered me from many situations. God is concerned about everything that concerns us, despite the size of the problem. I have fallen victim to many situations, but the Lord has delivered me out of them all. Every situation serves to make me stronger in my faith and more dependent on Jesus. I hope the following testimony will bless your heart. It may seem trivial, but it was no trivial matter for me. God never ceases to amaze me about His love.

Four years ago this month, I was very ill due to a serious but easily treatable disorder that often afflicts people much older than I was. The ongoing treatment, taken once a month for the rest of my life, caused my brain chemistry to change. I suddenly found myself behaving and thinking in a manner that was significantly different from my usual behavior. Some of the behaviors I initially welcomed. None of the behaviors were negative unless committed in excess; however, I began to engage in obsessive behaviors. Specifically, I began to shop excessively and attend performing arts programs excessively. The first year was especially difficult. I had to pray myself out of shopping obsessively (shoes & perfume). After the first year, I still however, continued to attend many cultural events. The problem persisted because I loved the theater, film, and dance. Like an addict, I attended a film or a performing arts show every week. Not only was I spending an excessive amount of money ( I rationalized it because I received significant discounts), but I had little time for other things that I also enjoyed (baking, reading, etc.). Because of my addiction, I was rarely available to go out with friends (I attended about 75% of my activities solo). I knew it was excessive, but I lacked the wherewithal to stop myself.  By the third year, I wanted to get off of this treadmill because the velocity was too great, and my behavior too negligent.  As the beginning of the fifth year was approaching, one of my friends prayed for me. My time suddenly became extremely limited and I had little time for my compulsive activities. I did not renew many subscriptions, and I suddenly became less than interested in all of these activities. When New Years Eve 2016 came, I felt as if I wanted to spend more time reading, cooking, baking, and going out with friends. For one month, I have done all of these activities and more. I’m busy doing more of what I love. I still love the performing arts, but now my interest is tempered. I no longer feel as if I am missing out on something, but that I am gaining an abundant life.

As a result of this experience, I understand how someone can become entangled with something that may be detrimental to one’s life, but with prayer God can work everything out. Some things are lawful, but not everything is beneficial (Romans 12:2). I know that God commands us to cast our cares upon Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). The Bible also says that this light affliction is working for us a far more eternal weight of glory (2 Corinthians 4:17). If we are called by God and according to His purpose, then we know that ALL things work together for our good (Romans 8:28).img_0416

Let’s pray: In the name of Jesus I pray. I thank you for your love and mercy and for your hand upon my life. I ask that you will help us to abide in you and in your word. Please fill us to overflowing capacity with your Spirit. Help us to put you first by praying and spending time in your word. Help us to turn toward you and away from anything that seeks to hinder our relationship with you. I ask all of these blessings in Jesus’ name I pray with thanksgiving always. Amen.

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