Ode to Mothers

A Mother’s worth is as pure gold

She teaches her children great lessons

With grace as her babies unfold

But it’s never with oppression

It’s with love that she takes action

For one day they will swiftly fly

With wings that will gain great traction

and soar to great heights in the sky

So that she as nurturer will smile

knowing that one day she will leave

And her children will ponder her style

With lovely thoughts that help them grieve

And memories that soothe soul’s sorrows

Will make her children one day say

That she prepared them for tomorrow

To celebrate her love like Mother’s Day

 

Deirdre M. DeLoatch

 

This poem is dedicated to those whose mothers have passed away. I know Mother’s Day was last month, but I wanted to write it then, but I didn’t finish my thoughts. My sister’s colleague just lost her mom in a tragic car accident because of a drunk driver. I wrote this because our mothers are everything to us, like her mother was to her. Some of our mothers are with the Lord in heaven. Those of us who are fortunate, may still have them with us. We have them here for a season, but we never know when their day will be their last. Let’s celebrate everyday with them and honor them for their personal sacrifice in helping us become what and whom we are today. The Bible says to honor thy mother and thy father for your days will be long (Exodus 20:12).

For personal reflection read one of the most tender stories about Ruth and Naomi. It epitomizes the love between a “mother” and daughter, although they were in- laws. Be blessed by this.

Read Ruth 1-4.

 

 

Becoming a Mother: My Journey

 

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Our Family

 

When God tells you to do something, He expects you to do it! Many years ago, I told my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, that I would do whatever He told me to do. At that time, I did not realize the magnitude of that commitment. The one thing that I knew was that I wanted to please Him and to serve him with all of my heart. As a result of this committment, He has taken me to “places” far and wide. My life has not been easy, but God has prepared both me and the “soil” to accomplish great things in His name. One of the many accomplishments, via Christ,  is becoming a mother to other people’s children. Sometimes mothers need assistance in caring for their children. It’s better to ask for help, than to need it and not ask.

When I was a teenager, I knew that I would adopt children. From an early age, children surrounded me. I helped rear my three younger siblings.  In 1998, my nephew, Maven, came to live with me for two years; he was twelve years old at that time. The challenges were many, but God saw me through each one. Seven months after he returned home to his mother, I became a parent to another child, Indea. Through a set of circumstances that I did not foresee, I became her mother for nearly a year. The challenges of parenting her were many, but her good heart helped me through the challenges. In 2004, on a particular Sunday, I believed that the Lord was telling me to look into adopting a child from foster care. The command seemed clear to me. I went home and looked into the process of becoming an adoptive parent through foster care. I requested the information from the Administration for Children’s Services (ACS). Within a few days, the packet of information arrived. I phoned my next door neighbor, Catherine, both a colleague and a friend, to share with her my news. She said she also had some news to share with me. I went to her home to share my news and to hear her news as well. Seemingly adventitious, we both had the same packet of information. We never discussed adoption before. Her news was confirmation that I heard correctly from the Lord. Catherine, had started one training class, and told me that I should consider adopting an older child, because older children are hard to place. I was reticent to adopt a teenager for many reasons, but I promised Catherine that I would attend a class with her, and make up my mind afterward. After the class, I was sold on fostering an older child. I took the required classes with Catherine, but I felt that I needed to finish a Master of Education degree that I just started before I would begin fostering. Catherine was the vehicle that the Lord used to encourage me to consider older children (I previously felt that I had been down that road and did not want to revisit it).

Two and a half years later, I completed the degree and I began looking into meeting foster children eligible for adoption. Finding the “right” child was not an easy process. I requested several children, but I was denied access to each one, for unknown reasons (The steps of a righteous person are ordered by the Lord). I almost gave up. Mary, the worker from the older child adoption/ placement agency, You Gotta Believe,  told me to choose another child. I did not want to try anymore. A couple of days before Mary’s call, I reflected on a message that I heard Rick Warren, the author of The Purpose Driven Life, speak. In his message he asked, “Are you making the most use of whatever God places in your hands?” For several days, I was obsessed with this question. I also began rereading a chapter in Bishop Vashti McKenzie’s book Journey to the Well. In her book, she said that we have to be sensitive to the kairos moments, the appointed time when God is about to do something in one’s life. I also went to the prayer meeting at The Brooklyn Tabernacle, my church, the day before Mary’s call. I began having a brief conversation there with a developmentally delayed adult. I told the Lord that “we” have to look after people like that.  When Mary called the next day, I promised her I would choose another child, but my heart was downcast. Mary told me to look at the videos on Wednesday’s Child, a brief segment on NBC affiliates about adopting hard to place children. I promised her that I would look at the videos and review the photo listing of eligible children, although I was discouraged. I came home, looked at the listing again, wrote down some names, although I was not excited about them because of their level of emotional dysfunction. I was ready to shut down my computer when I remembered that I was supposed to check Wednesday’s Child. I clicked on the most recent video from the previous week. The first line of the video said, “This child makes the most use of whatever is placed in her hands.” At that moment, I knew that “this child, Latoya,” was the one that the Lord had for me. Yes, she was everything that I was not looking for, but everything that I needed. There was no delay in meeting her! Within two weeks, a meeting was arranged. Latoya was a child without parents and family and she entered the the world under adverse circumstances.

Over the next fifteen months after meeting Latoya, I began having her visit me every weekend, every holiday, and during the summer vacation. After our initial meeting, and making a committment  to her, I began seeing the multitude of challenges. Although I was in a hurry to have her in my home, the Lord put the brakes on me to slow me down so that I could become acclimated to the many challenges. I had to teach her many things because at sixteen years of age, she had not been taught many things that should have been learned years earlier. I realized that between the time in which I took the foster care classes and having Latoya placed in my home full time, God was preparing we for the work. He also started preparing me many years earlier when other children were placed in my home. I did not realize until after the placement, that God had interceded on my behalf because of his great love for me. He allowed a great bureaucracy to slow me down do that I could adapt to my new life.

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Latoya

Latoya is developmentally delayed and has a multitude of other challenges, but God shows himself faithful through his love. Through the experience of mothering her, I have become more patient, accepting, loving, and supportive. I cannot fully explain the level of difficulty I encounter, but God sees me through every challenge and from walking away from them. Progress has been made in many areas of Latoya’s life. With prayer, God’s grace, and assiduousness, God’s hand continues to be upon us both.  It’s been eight years, since Latoya and I met. I have not formally adopted her, but I continue to parent her. She now lives in a group home with similarly situated women. She has not been in crisis for almost two years, and is more emotionally stable. Recently, she requested that we study the Bible together, an activity in which she was heretofore reluctant. Although our study is fraught with many challenges, we continue to press on to take hold of the things for which God has apprehended us.

What is God calling you to do? Let’s be fishers of men and women!

For further encouragement read: Romans 12; Isaiah 58; Ephesians 6